The Semester is Done

I turned in my last homework on Friday, then I worked out and submitted final grades today, so I think the semester is finished. It has been moderately exhausting. This was my second semester teaching two classes, and teaching two classes always seems to generate a surprising increase in the amount of grading I feel like I am doing. Furthermore, one of those classes was at 9:10 AM. While I have been known to take the occasional 9:10 class, when one is a student, one can sleep through class when the sleep debt becomes too severe. When one is the teacher, this is not a choice.

I think I will be able to arrange not to teach at 9:10 next semester, which will be nice, as I was utterly exhausted toward the end of this semester. It also looks like my last class will be early afternoon, rather than a 4:10-5:30 slog. Although I am by no means a morning person, once I am awake and active, I tend not to slide back into sleep easily. But mid to late afternoon is long enough after I have woken up that sitting in a lecture is likely to allow me to fall back asleep. Between starting later and having my classes earlier, I am quite hopeful that I shall attend most of my classes and stay awake through all the ones I attend.

I didn't finish my comprehensive exam, the next big milestone on my way to finishing. This means I do not think I will be taking a philosophy class, as doing so was to be my reward for getting that done. However, I have been toying with the idea of taking a formal logic course. While this would technically be through the philosophy department, it is not the type of philosophy I tend to try to take, and is closely related to mathematics, as a broad subject.

Anyway, I am looking forward to next semester for a variety of reasons, but before it gets here, I guess I have to take a winter break, such tough luck ;)

You Make Me Feel Like Dancin'

Well, December 16th means that I am halfway through MoBloYoFoMo! And what better way to celebrate than with a clip episode? But, rather than highlight things that I have done, because that would be seriously self-promotional, I think I'll link some of my current favorite YouTube clips, because that sounds like a lot more fun for everyone involved!

I may have linked this one before, I certainly have on Facebook, but I love... er, thoroughly enjoy and derive great pleasure from, it dearly! In fact, I rather prefer this to the original version of the song. The acappella group is On The Rocks, a group from the "other" University in Oregon, but I can't even hold that against them, that is how good this song is:

As you can see, I am experimenting with embedding video, because I am just that fancy! Anyway, moving on we come to a pop mash-up which I found due to a link on Facebook from the eminently musical Tim Karplus of Sounds Like Japan semi-fame. I know I've said this before, but if you are interested in pop music, and enjoy hearing people who know what they are talking about do so in an amusing manner, then you should check out his blog. Regarding the video, I first heard it almost a year ago, and I was having kind of a tough time, I'm in grad school, you should not be particularly surprised. The upbeat energy and positive message put on repeat really helped me buoy my flagging spirits at times. Yes, I would lie on my office floor and listen to it on repeat. Considering it also contains some of my favorite pop music, some of which I didn't know was my favorite until after I listened to this, I think this is a real winner:

DJ Earworm, the guy who mashed, is that the right verb, this song also came and played a show at MSU last spring. I went for a while, but being by myself in a room of partying strangers has never been my native environment, and got to hear him play this before I left, definitely cool. In case you haven't guessed, I like reinterpretations of pop music. But, enough of that, now for something a little more folksy. This next song is from YouTube music sensation Hank Green, of Vlogbrothers fame. If you see me on Facebook you probably notice I quote and share John Green's videos rather more frequently than Hank's, but this is just because John tends to think about the type of things that interest me more often than Hank does, and has a more eloquent way with words perhaps. But, if you want a song, then Hank is definitely the brother to prefer, so here is one of my favorites from him. Warning, there is slight vulgarity:

Finally, here is a song which I just adore for the instrumentation, although I really like it as a whole. In fact, my only real complaint about this song is that it needs to be a minute or a minute and a half longer. I also wouldn't mind a bridge. I've heard covers that remedy these problems, but they lose the typewriter, and you can never have enough typewriter in a song. I also really enjoy the synthesized organ sound, I think it gives the whole thing a sharp, tightly fitting sound:

Well, I had fun giving myself an excuse to go back and listen to those again, as though I need one, and if you listened as well I hope you enjoyed them too!

It isn't exactly a YouTube clip, but there is a post over at Elf Army Writes that I really enjoy. In addition to containing a Hunger Games pun and being an enjoyable read, it also relates back to an old post about the importance of careful word choice. Ok, looks like I am going to be self-promotional anyway.

Live Your Life

For over a week now I have had a draft of my next post on Identity open, waiting for me to straighten out my thoughts enough to forge ahead on it. However, I tend to think dialogically, so presenting my thoughts in a narrative format can be difficult. So, in the mean time let me post something less substancial.

Toward the beginning of this calendar year, when I was updating at a good rate, I ran a series of thoughts inspired by pop music. This song did not make the series because it doesn't really inspire interesting academic type thoughts, but I love the message of accepting that the past has happened, then dealing with being one's self in the present. I'm not happy with the slow rate that I am posting here, but I am living my life as best I can, and I stand by that!

Waiting for Superman: My Education

I finally got to watch Waiting For Superman, which I have wanted to since I read a Time article about it towards the end of winter semester, thanks to the forbearance of my sister and brother-in-law. For those of you who aren't addicted to education news, it is a documentary sort of about the state of public education in America. The filmmaker follows a few, mostly minority and underprivileged, families who are hoping to enroll their students in some form of charter school through the lottery system.

Although interesting, I found the movie somewhat disappointing as an intellectual exercise. The director seems to have been focused on making the, perhaps dubious, point that teachers unions are evil, charter schools are wonderful, and lottery systems for children's futures are heartbreaking. I have to admit to only agreeing with the last point. To this end, the movie barely mentioned suburban schools and gave rural schools no screen time at all, focusing almost exclusively on inner city schools.

As the product of a rural school system, I am kind of curious how they would compare. Although I'm not really sure how indicative my experience was of the average experience of those attending my school. I have to admit that I was surprised when, in high school, someone told me that drug use was not terribly uncommon among students, so what did I know about my own school? Still, I think that rural schools may have an advantage in that there is less opportunity for segregation to occur. In Waldport almost everyone in the community goes to the same school, whether they are poor or dirt poor.

That said, some people, like my elitist sister, did choose to apply for variances to attend school in Newport, where they had amenities such as electives and a music program. In her defense, we had both attended the Newport school system when we lived in Newport, so she also was going back to her friends. I, of course, had no (few) friends to which to return, which should hardly surprise people who know me, so I remained in Waldport. Those who know me will probably also not be surprised when I say that despite our size and lack of class selection, I managed to obtain quite a satisfactory education at Waldport High School.

As I have often maintained, I think it is quite possible for the motivated student to become educated in almost any environment. That said, after watching Waiting For Superman I must admit that some of the examples of terrible educators provided, who ignored or even abused their students, might be sufficient to stifle even the most inquisitive of minds. Maybe I was lucky, but all of my teachers made at least a perfunctory attempt to present the material relevant to their course, and I also had some outstanding, supportive, and challenging teachers along the way as well!

Pentagon, Hexagon, Oregon, Michigan

By the way, the first two rhyme, the second two rhyme.

Appropriately enough, although I begin writing this post in Michigan, I expect to finish it up from an airport in Oregon. It has come to the point where I have to admit I call both states home, although I still consider myself an Oregonian. Thus, flying from one to another provoked some emotions, which I'm not really going to talk about, and some thoughts, which are more my thing.

One thing I realized is that I don't really visit Oregon proper, I visit an idealized version. For one thing, I am just visiting Oregon, I don't have to live here. Which means I'm usually not doing work when I'm here, although that isn't always the case. My stress level also tends to be a lot lower here, because even if I am working on things my deadline doesn't come due until I head back to Michigan. Another idealization is the delusion that a lot of my Oregonian friends still live in Oregon. This is especially true in the Christmas season, when I get together with old friends who have also made the pilgrimage back to Corvallis, a few of them from origins even further away than mine, although this coming year I expect to be the second most distant. I realized at least a year ago that the Corvallis which I visit is a Corvallis that mostly exists in my memory, rather than reality, but it has been a more recent revelation that I have been comparing Michigan to this ideal Oregon unfairly. That said, the weather really is much nicer in Oregon.

Another interesting thing I recently realized is that I really do consider Michigan my home now. I think I made a grave error in considering my move to Michigan temporary. This, combined with my pain from leaving Oregon, probably contributed to a desire to avoid feeling at home in Michigan, so that my planned eventual leaving wouldn't hurt so much. Of course this, along with other stuff, led to me being fairly miserable my first couple of years in Michigan, so I can't really say as I recommend this course of action. I'm sort of inclined to write it off as just me not transplanting well, but that is disingenuous, as I acclimated to Corvallis very well, and I always enjoy visiting and exploring new places, so it is probably more complicated than that.

In conclusion, it's not easy having your life scattered across the continent, but whose life is easy? I try to persevere and keep thinking interesting thoughts. And seriously, pronounce Oregon correctly ;)

I Am Dead and Gone

Sorry for my prolonged absence; last week I was quite busy/productive, this weekend I danced a bunch, nearly all day Saturday literally, somehow amidst all this I (finally) read The Hunger Games trilogy, and this week I am sick. However, the post's title neither refers to myself, nor my commitment to this blog, but rather to the song about which I intend to talk. That's right, as promised, this is my final (planned) installment in the series on music video philosophy. For those in the home audience paying attention, you might expect that this would be my 100th post, but as I was looking through my archive I found a post that was just a placeholder and deleted it, so 100 should be the next one, barring further deletions.

Anyway, on to Dead and Gone. Let me first say that while I really enjoy this song, and I really enjoy a lot of N'Synch songs, having Justin Timberlake featured in your song really diminishes its street cred', you feel me? Although, maybe this is appropriate, as Dead and Gone is about an ex-gangsta who has since left the life, citing fear for family safety and remorse over dead friends. Central to the song is that "the old me is dead and gone," hence the title.

While I am not familiar with a past of violence and crime, the message of alienation from one's past self rings true. In fact, the continuity of self is a serious philosophical question. We experience our lives as though we possess a single identity, yet with reflection, it is clear that fundamental things about who we are change as time goes by. It happens so gradually, usually, that at any one point it is easy to believe that you are who you have always been, but viewed over time it becomes clear that one's identity is in fact quite malleable, and the old you may indeed be dead and gone.

Of course, when major life changes are made quickly, and one's environment becomes extremely tumultuous, for example moving nearly across the country to try one's hand at grad school, the effects of personality drift can seem more pronounced. This is, of course, a big reason this song has such personal relevance to me. Whether one's personality shifts to accommodated the new environment, or simply due to a lack of familiar cornerstones that had previously anchored one's personality, is a question I fend interesting.

This line of thought also raises interesting questions about the nature of accountability. If sufficient time has elapsed since I did something that I truly am a fundamentally different person than the person that committed the act, in what sense can be held accountable for the action? This is immediately related to my reflections on mornings when I sleep through class and, although I am logically forced to conclude that I must have turned off my alarm at some point, I have no recollection of the event. If the me who wakes up neither remembers these actions nor condones them, but rather finds them seriously irresponsible and worthy of condemnation, in what manner am I to be held accountable for them?

In the end however, while the old me may be dead, he is certainly not gone. Who we are may not be identical to who we were, but it is intimately wrapped up in our past experiences and personalities. If I realize that I am no longer someone who recognizes myself as "myself" it may be a long and futile journey to, "find my way back home," to something that feels comfortable to consider as "myself," but it is a worthwhile journey, even if the destination remains ever out of reach. The quest to, "know thyself," remains as important as it was in the times of the Ancient Greeks, made all the harder by the realization that the "self" which we are to know is constantly in motion.

In conclusion, I just wanted to note a common theme I noticed in my posts on music videos. My first, "Poker Face," dealt with the difficulty to know others, and our desire to both know and be known. The next, "Gives You Hell," talked about how our self is being shaped by both our personal attributes and societal intervention. Finally I discuss the difficulty in even knowing ourselves. This leads to one last question, is the search for a sense of identity widespread through modern music, something common to these songs which causes me to become interested in them in particular, or something about myself which I am projecting onto these songs?

Merit Based Salaries for Teachers and The Importance of Control Groups

I feel like my blog has sort of become me complaining about my life. This is not what I want it to be, mostly because I don't think that is either interesting or thought provoking. Last post may be excused because it provided an excellent example of Sartre's existential dilemma, but my complaints today are more mundane, as such, they shall be relegated to the end of this post.

With the US falling behind in educational achievement, our public school system has come under heavy scrutiny. Even more so as the documentary, Waiting for "Superman" hitting the pop culture radar. One of the controversial "fixes" proposed is tying teachers' salaries or bonuses to evaluations of their merit. I, as a semi-educator, view this suggestion with a little trepidation, not that I have any illusion that it will affect me one way or another.

My biggest problem with merit based pay is that teachers are not responsible for the quality of their students, for the most part. Perhaps my perspective on this is skewed by coming from the field of mathematics, but much of my students' success or failure is predetermined by their level of preparation when they enter my classroom. Unlike the private sector, I cannot weed out people who's performance I become responsible for if they have no business being in my classroom, except by failing them. This leads to me often trying to cobble a rudimentary working understanding of integral calculus for some of my students on top of a mathematical background where they still fear and distrust fractions and do not actually understand exponentiation. I think there are some Biblical verses condemning what I do (Matthew 9:16,17), but the task of reteaching almost the whole of mathematics to my students is daunting.

Granted, if one makes certain assumptions about the uniformity of mathematical backgrounds from class to class, then comparing educators in the same school teaching the same subject might yield some results as to the comparative efficacy of those educators. However, comparing educators who have students prepared by one school as opposed to another seems bound to confuse the individual educator's merit with that of the system that has prepared their students.

Finally, education is not a passive activity like watching the television. In order for students to get more out of it, they must put more into it. Mathematics may have come easily to me, but I was (almost) always actively trying to understand what was going on. When you understand the background, each new layer of complexity becomes relatively simple to understand, if you try. For example, on a recent exam, my students were asked to set up a partial fraction decomposition problem. Not recognizing that (x^2-4) factors was, at a glance, strongly correlated with not knowing to put Ax+B in the numerator over an irreducible quadratic factor. There is no reason that these concepts should be linked, one is a rather subtle question relying on mathematical skills they should already have, namely factoring, and the other is a simple fact about partial fraction decomposition that they ought to have learned in my class, yet, the two mistakes were almost always made simultaneously.

Granted, it is a lot easier for me to take college students to task for not investing in their education than it would be to criticize cute little elementary schoolers. My point, however, is not that we should blame the student's for their own academic successes and failures, but rather that we need to create the proper support for students to encourage them to invest in their own education from an early age. This is not something teachers can be responsible for alone, I believe, as I have said before, that our educational apathy is a cultural institution, and that students are often receiving deeply negative messages in the home and in pop culture about the value of education.

Ok, that is my two cents on that. As mentioned, I have some other thoughts on education kicking around, which may make it into a post. In regards to my own life, as mentioned we recently had a test, so grading that took up a bunch of time. Taking even more time was the Group Theory assignment due Monday, that our class just turned in today. Between those two tasks, I have been rather stressed recently, but they are now over, so I can focus on my other problems. Prominently featured among those are the fact that my laptop bricked Monday, so I have to decide what to do about that. Additionally, while sprinting to catch the bus this afternoon I caught my foot on an uneven spot on the sidewalk, causing me to slam right-side first into the sidewalk/floor of the bus. To catalog my injuries, I have a couple stubbed toes on my right foot, from catching on the sidewalk, a skinned right knee from the sidewalk, a tight pain in the middle of my right ribs, where my chest collided at a frightful speed with the edge of the bus entrance, and a skinned right elbow from the bus floor. Aside from a slight tenderness in my left elbow, which didn't bleed at all, my left side is in fine shape. This occasionally leads me to exclaim in surprise and appreciation at how much pain the left side of me is NOT feeling, which illustrates the importance of a control group!

October, and the Crushing Weight of Existence

Well, today is the seventh of October. I did not want a week of October to pass by without a post, so it seems I am logically compelled to post today. As you may have noticed, I failed to keep to my MWF updates, even after F became "weekend." So, I am setting a less strenuous schedule for myself this month. In short, I shall update at least once every seven days, about a topic of my choosing. I have quite a few posts about the education system and education in general running around in my head, in embarrassingly unpolished format unfortunately, so that may become this month's impromptu subject. This is fitting, as many of the people I imagine read my blog are educators.

Since just updating you upon my plans for updating this blog in October seems like a terrible cop out on my part, I am also going to post something that I wrote elsewhere, about my experiences walking home today.

I finished the book I was reading, Sophie's World, today, which I think warrants a celebration. In what I read today, the existentialists were covered, and the author talked about Sartre's notion that as beings that exist, we owe it to ourselves to do SOMETHING with our existence. Oddly enough, both of the books I have read this school year have inspired this thought in me, as it has been nagging me since I finished Deadline, by Chris Crutcher. I imagine that I was previously aware of Sartre's thought on the subject, because we talked a bit about existentialism in a Feminist Philosophy course when I was an undergrad.

Anyway, as I was walking home under the darkened sky, I almost began crying at the thought of how much I would never understand. Then, as I almost was home, it occurred to me that my dissatisfaction may be because I have lost my faith in mathematics. I remember being quite upset in high school when I realized that there were open problems in mathematics, that is, statements that we are fairly sure are either true or false, but we cannot prove certainly to be one or the other. However, I stuck with mathematics, as it seemed the best method to make sense out of the chaos by which we are surrounded.

Now though, I inch out along a slender branch, toward the tips of a tree of mathematical knowledge, seeking the budding areas where soon new growth will occur. My problem is no longer that these areas of uncertainty exist, but that in reaching them, I have lost sight of the ground from which I began my climb. In an attempt to gain an advantageous viewpoint of my surroundings, I have instead become so myopically focused on the tree I am climbing that I have lost track of my surroundings entirely.

The natural follow up question I asked myself is, would studying philosophy become a remedy to this myopia, or merely a repetition of the mistake that I have already made once? I suppose that since philosophy often concerns itself with the larger picture of what is and what should, it may be more conducive to keeping the vastness and wonder of existence in focus. However, I do believe that more than a few great philosophers have found themselves staring into philosophy and discovering an ever hungry void of uncertainty that has scarred them to the soul.

Anyway, since I have no dependents, nor partner, nor expectation or inclination for this to change in the immediate future, I have great freedom, what Sartre might describe as terrifying freedom, to shape my life at this point. It seems only fitting that I take some time to reflect on what I owe it to myself to do with that freedom. Of course, if you have any suggestions, fill free to leave them, I obviously am not making too much progress upon my own.

Mea Culpa

This time I did not forget that it was Friday, my fault no post on consciousness last week. With the semester getting into swing and such, I have been feeling down again, and putting serious thought and effort into a post has just seemed overwhelming. However, since one of my intentions for this blog is to keep myself thinking philosophically even when I just want to curl up and hide, I shall attempt to get back upon the horse.

To that end, you can certainly expect a Theological post come Wednesday. I am leaning toward discussing my interpretation of salvation, I was going to do this anyway, but I think I'll advance the timetable because my sister posted a wonderful and caring post on this topic. Come Friday I shall post something related to the philosophy of consciousness.

Part of the reason for no post last Friday is a lack of ideas on what to post, I plan to talk about the ghost in the machine, which is enough for a short post at the moment, but no additional topic to get it to full size. Of course, not wanting to think about what to post does influence how full of ideas I am. If I come up with material for a fourth post on consciousness, I shall post a make up sometime. I think I had four posts planned out, so I should just have to remember what I was going to talk about, but we'll see.

Nothing particularly new in my life, but I feel this has been about my life enough to satisfy the Monday requirement. Classes and teaching are draining me of my elan vital. It is ironic that when classes start they drain all my motivation to think, right? I think I am going to drop my first grad class, I can get more sleep, stress a little less, it isn't terribly interesting, and I haven't gone to the last to meetings. Well, hope others are having more successful school starts.

It's September!

So, last Tuesday I asked what people thought about some ideas for changes to my blog. I got one response, saying that everything I suggested sounded interesting, which is somewhat flattering. However, you are still welcome to go submit your input if you want to deflate my ego a little, steer me towards a specific track, or suggest something I may have overlooked. For now I think I'll set a schedule for September and go from there, who knows what we'll look like in October, it's exciting.

For September I am going to run a series on the Philosophy of Consciousness Fridays. I have the first one up, and you can expect the next one at the end of this week. Mondays (ooo, that's today!) will be an informal day, hopefully updating you on my life, or whatever. Then Wednesdays I shall put up some theological musings. I have decided to try to break the grip alliteration holds upon my mind, so theology will not be on Thursdays, and this will not be Sci-Fi September. On that note, I do have a series of Sci-Fi themed posts brewing, and they were going to go up this month, but I found the idea of consciousness more interesting, so it went first.

I have been trying to read more, those of you who knew me in high school, or earlier, probably remember that I was a voracious reader. I have let that facet of my personality slip, to my detriment I believe. Earlier this month I read Blindsight, a really bleak but interesting Sci-Fi novel about aliens with a strong undercurrent of philosophy of consciousness/mind theme. This partially explains why that topic won out this month. Right now I am trying to get through a chapter of ManefestA each day, and I have Sophie's World stashed in my office for down time. Considering how absolutely mind-numbing office hours are sometimes (often), I think stashing a book in there will really improve my mental habits. Sophie's World was recommended to me as an interesting fictional narrative which introduces one to a basic overview of Western Philosophy, ManefestA, as I understand it, is an overview of the state of Third Wave feminism as of the year 2000.

Went to a Labor Day get together with graduates from the math department today. There was food and conversation, the host had a really nice townhouse. Not much to say there, I am trying to be more social in Michigan, seems useful if I am going to be here three to five more years, never say I don't try. On the here x years more, those of you who follow me on FaceBook (FB) may have noticed I passed my third qualifying exam two weeks ago, knocking over another hurdle in my way on the math to philosophical doctor-hood.

The classes I am taking seem ok. I definitely like Group Theory, and am thinking of going into that subject, a scary decision I now face having completed quals. Algebraic Geometry seems like it will be tolerable, the first day was an incomprehensible overview of the subject, and I didn't sleep Thursday night so Friday was a bit blurry, but seemed to be familiar material, introducing affine and projective spaces and varieties, you know ;). Number Theory meets for the first time Wednesday.

As for teaching, I am solidifying my decision to pursue a Philosophy Ph.D. after I finish here (hopefully finish=get doctorate). I am sure my students are decent pupils, they are taking Calc II, which is something that indifferent math students can certainly do, but they are taking it in the evening, that must mean something? However, I hardly get any intellectual enthusiasm from them. My lectures feel boring even to me, but when I try to liven it up by asking questions, I feel like I am pulling teeth. I really want to try teaching a discussion based class, but don't feel that is the most appropriate manner in which to teach math, especially to 38 students. I know a lot of people are down on mathematics, saying they don't like it and whatnot. But consider this, how do you think your teacher feels being stuck lecturing to an apathetic crowd who bring almost no energy or feedback to the relationship? Sorry for the mini-rant, I get depressed at how dehumanizing teaching sometimes is.

Oh, back to reading! I am planning to attempt the Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus by Wittgenstein, which might be the seminal piece in analytic philosophy and modern philosophy of language. If other people want to read it, I would certainly welcome a support group to hold each other accountable for timely reading and with whom to discuss the content. It is also considered one of the more opaque works of philosophy, so perhaps a background in reading philosophy would be helpful, but I certainly wouldn't turn down any people desiring to participate. I got my copy Friday, but I am definitely waiting until I finish ManefestA to begin.

That seems to be enough, have a good week!

Hard or Soft Education?

Today's topic is in response to a suggestion, as promised, which may have been left on Facebook. The question is, "I have many able calculus kids who score a 4 or 5 each year on the AP test (to go along with their 4 or 5's in AP chemistry) and the vast majority of them end up studying the humanities, with a ridicluous proportion choosing psychology - something that most will never make a living from - and relatively few choosing math/science/tech. Meanwhile, in huge proportions, the Chinese, Indian and Russian kids are studying the hard sciences. So, why, in your humble opinion, do our American kids duck the hard sciences at a rate that is not seen in other countries?"

As someone who has bachelor degrees in both math and philosophy, yet still cannot spell bachelor, I think I have an informed perspective upon this question. First off, although in might in part be the perception that the humanities are easier than math/science/tech degrees, I doubt this is a significant factor. I imagine this perception exists even in the communities which choose math/science/tech degrees, and I do not believe it is true. Considering my "fondness" for essays, I think my homework for the philosophy degree was, overall, more stressful than the math degree.

One thing I do think is a factor is the wonderful freedom of the US higher education program. From what I understand, in many places in Asia and Europe, one is channeled into a course of study at the university, rather than choosing one freely from a myriad of options. Thus, subjects that society places greater value upon are emphasized in schools and end up with the greatest number of students corralled in that direction. Whereas, in the US, upon arriving at university you are presented with a plethora of options and permitted to switch even rather late in your academic career, which can lead to Philosophy majors being declared in the second half of Junior year.

Another issue is something like an American sense of entitlement, or optimism, compared with caution or pragmatism exhibited by citizens in less privileged nations. To wit, you say yourself that a humanity degree is less likely to lead directly into a career, and to someone from a culture of economic caution, that might be a major deterrent. In comparison, an American who assumes that things will turn out alright in the end might feel more empowered to follow an interest for interest's sake.

I must admit that, as a cautious person by nature, this last point did play a major role in my decision to pursue graduate studies in mathematics rather than philosophy. Programs seem easier to enter, and the job market is definitely kinder, to mathematics students than those who study philosophy. However, the idea has been growing in me to attempt to switch, now that I am in a math program or after I complete it, as I feel teaching philosophy would be a more fulfilling career personally.

This is the best answer I can give to the question at the moment. As I mentioned when it was asked, I would like to hear your thoughts on the issue, as mine are based primarily upon my own experiences as a student, while you have the wider perspective of an educator who has watched many students head off to college. As always, I heartily welcome the answers, reactions, or further thoughts of all my readers. If the editing is rough today, I beg forgiveness, as my trip to Oregon has left me exhausted at the moment.

Why Am I Here?

I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to Californian, the first person to answer my question, "about what would you like to see me write?" by suggesting, "Kenny, I'd like to know how you got from 'here' to there. You know, middle school in Newport all the way to Michigan and a doctorate program." I have decided to procrastinate housekeeping at least one more post, because I believe that feedback should be encouraged, since I want it.

This is a hard question to answer, since life is an incredibly complicated thing and many factors play into each decision, so I acknowledge that my answer is less an answer to your question and more my opinion on why I am here, which is my best attempt to answer the question.

A very important and early influence upon my path is the importance my parents placed on academics and learning. The fact that they were often employed at the school I attended led to an inevitable involvement by them in my education. So much so that, by the time I got to Middle School, where your question begins, they were much more hands off, having instilled the value of education early they were able to nudge me along the track, rather than metaphorically hold my hand anymore. Much of the credit belongs to them, thank you.

Reinforcing my parents were the wonderful teachers that I was exposed to along the way. There is a reason that through most of middle and high school my planned job was teaching, I was shown wonderful examples of what effect educators could have on my life. Although I did run into teachers who seemed less enthusiastic about their jobs, I cannot think of a single teacher who failed to meet my interest with corresponding suggestions about their subject. My advice to people who are in classes of some sort, and I also advise you to be in classes of some sort, is to express your interest in the subject in some fairly obvious way to your instructor. I can vouch, both from experiences as a student and as an educator, that if your instructor seems like they are phoning it in, finding a pupil that is genuinely interested is a wonderful and nigh irresistible call to satisfy that pupil's curiosity. In summary, great educators inspire students by being themselves, but even a mediocre educator will be inspired by inquiring students.

Finally, although their contribution was less personal than that of my parents and teachers, I would not be here without the generosity of many people who I will never meet. The people who endow scholarships or give math departments money to hire people definitely deserve mention. I don't know exactly who these people are in my specific case, but if you participate in such activities you make it possible for many students, myself and most of my college friends included in this group, to realize their goal of a college level education, thank you very much.

Speaking of friends, their support and commiseration has been invaluable in getting through rough patches and making the goal seem worthwhile, and the journey, as a whole, palatable. These are the people who I credit with where I am today, but there are some factors in my own life I think also affected me getting to here.

I really do enjoy learning, this may be the result of my parents and teachers but it deserves its own mention because I think it had a lot to do with my decision to continue to grad school. The choice between finding a "real" job in a depressed, and depressing, economy and continuing on to a job which required me to continue to engorge my brain, the preferred choice was obvious. I also had a rigorous academic work ethic, instilled by my parents to be sure, which grad school blew into a thousand tiny pieces.

My ineptitude socially has also been an academic asset I would say. This is not to say that one cannot be both popular and academically successful, I know people who are, but my feelings of unpopularity contributed to my academic success. Not in the obvious way of leaving me more time to devote to my studies, I have never had trouble finding something else to do with my spare time. Rather, I had something to prove to my peers. I wasn't trying to get them to notice me, or shame them for excluding me, which I don't think they did intentionally, now or at the time,. I was just trying to find my place, if I wasn't going to be well-liked I needed something to tack my self-worth to, and since I did well academically that seemed a logical candidate. Not particularly healthy, perhaps, but I believe effective.

Also, the fact that I am a social klutz helped me go to grad school. While I feel a bit more socially gratified than I did as a child, I have a Blog, so you can disagree with that if you desire, moving across the country to attend grad school is not as complicated as it would be, say, for someone in a serious relationship with another person. Not that leaving my friend circle behind hasn't been a sacrifice, hence the Blog, and I should note that a few of my colleagues are married, one even had a baby this summer(!), and a couple others are in ostensibly healthy relationships, but being single made this decision at least half as challenging as it would otherwise have been.

So there you have it, I am here because I had great support as a child and because I am a bit messed up, which is OK. In your question you go on to say that my story is anomalous, and I am unsure how true that is. From my class in Newport we sent someone to MIT, and another to Harvard, and I'm sure a bunch of other students to well qualified but less celebrified schools. I know of at least one other student from my class of WHS who is getting a doctorate of some flavor, at least one master's student, though I think there are more, and many who attended some university or another. So, don't sell short the education that we received, I think that we are doing just fine. Thanks again for the question, hope the answer wasn't to enormous, now I'm going to go for a walk.